You see, this is probably the only time in the modern history of broadcasting where the resolution to such a cliffhanger could be protected in such a comprehensive way - no reviews, no online clips, no spoilers - and then they go and spoil it all by saying something stupid like "fuck you!!"
Yeah, I just feel a bit stupid now for getting all excited. Doctor Who, you see, I'm not exactly a fan, but I would watch it on occasion, I would appreciate its frothy Saturday night charms, and like everyone in the whole world I thought that one with the statues was a genius idea. And I've watched a few this last series with varying degrees of enjoyment. And then, whoa! What's all this? Doctor regenerating? New...doctor? Given the feverish nature of speculation surrounding any teensy casting change in this stupid show, that is quite a curveball. Good on 'em, I thought! Very clever.
OH BUT NO. No new doctor. Same old doctor. Same old Tennant. Two of them, in fact. Explained away with ridiculous bollockscience in the first three minutes. And the best chance that anyone in telly had to really, really surprise the viewing public HAS GONE. FOREVER. No-one's gonna fall for this trick again. And it really does feel like they did it deliberately to get ratings for this final episode. I am watching the rest of it right now but under duress, cos I really don't care that much any more. I sincerely hope that quite a lot of people tuned out after the first two minutes. Balls to them all.
Sigh...after 40 mins I am calmer. Now I feel stupid for getting angry. All right, Russell T Davies, enough playing with my emotions already! Well, you gotta do it some way, cos you sure can't do it with your scripts or storylines. ZING! Oh no I di'nt! No, he really is not very good.
19:20 Ooh, this is turning into live blogging! Might as well put the times in now. So who's gonna die? I vote Catherine Tate. Well, Donna, I mean. Cos, you know, no-one likes her.
19:25 Tell you what, I do approve of the fact that they seem to have turned down the background music. Last episode I couldn't hear half of what anyone was saying. Still can't with Rose cos she talks as if her mouth is full of crushed potatoes. Open your jaw, woman. It looks like it will absorb the planet with its might gaping width, but it probably won't.
19:30 Ugh, gross emotional finish here. Someone's still got to die though.
19:33 I didn't ever watch the series with Rose in, but I feel if I did, I would be a purist - in that, OMG they just kissed and it was totally gross! Just did it to please the fans. Like K9. Although, gotta say - love me a bit of that dog. I think it's cos I saw it on the Weakest Link and it was very cute, as much as a small robotic dog could be.
19:36 Oh, totally called it. Bye bye Donna! I hope her head explodes in a really gory fashion.
19:37 Wait, they're not even gonna kill Donna?! Come on, have they got no bloody guts at all?! Christo, this has changed me into a genocidal maniac. BAYING FOR BLOOD!
19:42 Yeah yeah yeah the Doctor's a lonely soul, yawn! Isn't how they've ended every single frigging series?
Well. That was, in a word, shitholes. I shall never watch TV again. Possibly.